little PJ's first swim!

We brought little PJ for her first swim on Monday. It started pouring outside when we were about to leave the house. But no fear! Papa to the rescue! He drove us to Nex for the swim! (It is rather extravagant to drive to Nex because it's just 5min walk away. But oh well, the rain's to blame!)

So the first step to swimming is to do some simple warm up. It seemed more like raving little PJ's arms in the air. Then the shop assistants clipped the neck float on her.

getting ready!

Little PJ wanted to cry just before lowering her into the water. (Insecurity??) But thank God we managed to soothe her and she stopped as soon as she went into the water.

And so she swam for a good 20min. She was very calm throughout the swim. No crying or fussing, but no laughters or signs of joy either. She was more of "ok, I'm minding my own business here. Just let me get round my swim ok." So we take it in good faith that she enjoyed the swim. Both Hubby and I were so proud of her too!

my brave little baby. YAY!

Here's a short clip of her swimming experience.

And if you would have guessed, yes, we bought a swimming package for her. More swims to come soon!

2 interesting reads that I can totally resonate with...

#1 World Breastfeeding Week Salute

#2 【原來餵母奶 真的不是件容易的事！】 (taken from a FB page)

1.大多數的媽媽們都沒辦法做好月子，尤其是新手媽媽 。
要不是寶寶不肯好好吸，就是擔心他吃不飽。不到2-3小時就要餵一次，一次又要吸個十來分鐘甚至快一個小時。瓶餵媽媽更慘調了，鬧鐘按表操課。一不小心偷懶，硬塊就來找上你。半夜三更還要洗奶瓶、洗吸奶器的一推工具。重點是，不是你願意爆肝奶量就會夠。你還要看乳腺通不通，還有湯湯水水有沒有喝夠。關於做月子要好好休息這件事，還有待商確……

2.旁言旁語聽不完。
前期餵母奶，總是有人說“你的奶夠嗎？我以前都用噴的” 或是“寶寶一下就餓! 你沒奶啦！！” 甚至更慘的是“我們那個年代都是窮人才喝母奶！！”或是“你餵母奶我以後不好幫你帶啦”
過了六個月“母奶沒營養了啦！！” “拜託你想餵到幾歲阿?幫幫忙！ 又不是買不起奶粉！” 這些話不只是家人朋友，甚至是有的藥師或醫生都會義證嚴詞的說。好像大家最懂只有你不懂！

3.職場媽媽沒得挑
不管是倉庫、廁所、會議室…… 上班途中，為了擠奶，不管是什麼地方，衣服撩起來就開始抓緊時間擠奶，為的是寶寶隔天的便當。殊不知自己的便當都沒時間吃。心酸不見得有人能體諒，還怕同事閒言閒語說偷懶。

4.生理需求擺最後
為了餵奶，常常都顧不得自己餓，衣服一撩就來餵。因為沒有其他人的奶可以幫你餵。瓶餵媽媽也沒比較好。累的半死，眼睛都打不開時，還是得把吸奶器打開，看著家人在沉睡，開著小燈 繼~續~擠~

5.腫塊破皮樣樣來，乳腺炎更是令人心驚膽跳。
親餵媽媽遇到奶量小的寶寶，很容易硬塊。瓶餵媽媽遇到奶量大的寶寶，則每天在追奶。供需平衡不是不可能，但每個人的體質不同，每個寶寶的需求也不同。要平衡，往往都要耗費一些時間，但不管是親瓶餵，媽媽的乳頭通要從小姐時的細嫩鍛鍊到無堅不摧。寶寶咬，很痛；寶寶咬著扯，更是無敵霹靂痛。

6.時間管理一團遭
想出門怕寶寶餓。不是算準了何時要回家，就是怕出門塞車，擠奶的時間就錯過。在怎麼累 一定要早起，不來擠奶時間會來不及出門。字典裡已經沒有“賴床”這件事。因為擠奶是生活的重心，晚上早早想睡也可以，但中間要再爬起來擠奶

7.瓶餵媽媽，關於溫奶這件事……
因為母奶要一定的溫度加熱，等待是必要的。媽媽們都必須忍耐這段時間，所以保母或婆婆就會開始唸……用泡的多快ㄚ……

8.奶量ㄚ奶量……
奶量太多怕塞住，奶量太少要追奶。不管是多或是少，都是媽媽們的壓力來源。石頭奶的痛 不是生小孩的痛可以比的 。

說了這麼多，也只是希望各位爸爸媽媽公公婆婆鄰居阿姨們，當你們遇到母奶媽媽們時，能夠給他們一些鼓勵。母奶真的是用媽媽的心血換來的啊……

I survived Hubby's ICT!

Yes, I survived the week, or rather, the nights without Hubby. 

With much tears and frustration though. 

The gist of everything is, it was difficult to make little PJ sleep at night. For some unknown reasons, she would fuss and not fall asleep in the cot like how she did for the past 2 months, so I had to carry and pat her to sleep. Then when I put her down, she would wake up almost immediately and stare at me with her eyes wide open. So I had to pick her up again and redo all that I had done. This pat-sleep-put down-wake up-fuss-carry and pat again cycle took almost 2 hours on most nights, from 9pm to 11pm. The same cycle also went on for the 2am feed.

Tiredness, impatience and the loneliness and quietness of the night unleashed a whole bout of emotions in me, coupled with much spanking of little PJ's butt. Hubby would receive SMSes from me at the wee hours, saying how lousy I felt for losing patience with little PJ. 

You cannot imagine how HAPPY and RELIEVED I was when Hubby returned home at the end of the week. My knight in shining armour had appeared again. 

Till now, little PJ still doesn't fall asleep in her cot like she did before. But I am glad that now Hubby is here to share her fussing with me. 

apprehensive about the coming week

Little PJ had been rather cranky over the long weekend. Fussing before every nap & needing us to pat her to sleep, crying during the bottlefeeds & drinking only half the amount that she normally would drink. 

Hubby will be outfield for his ICT for a week, starting tomorrow. The next time I will see him is Friday night. :(

No one to share the midnight feedings with me. No one to tag team with if little PJ is fussy & cranky at night. (Day time I have my mum). No one to encourage me for the next 5 days. Feeling so apprehensive now. :(

ICT, I hate you.

vaccination...OUCH~!

Hubby and I brought little PJ for her vaccination today. It was the first vaccination after the discharge from hospital. I felt very gan cheong for her. When the doctor was preparing the jab, little PJ was looking at him and smiling away. Totally unaware of what was in store for her. As expected, she cried her lungs out after the needle went in. As I held her down for the jab and saw her face turning red from the crying, my heart cringed. :(

Still got many more vaccinations to go. Jiayou. For both little PJ and myself.

family is the foundation our lives

The National Family Council held its appreciation lunch on 30 July for its members and partners involved in this year's National Family Celebrations. Hubby was invited to this lunch as one of the partners involved, and he brought both little PJ and myself to the lunch as well. The family pledge was also launched then. We were the only 'family' present at the lunch and this was noticed by the press. After the whole event, we were invited for an interview regarding our response to the family pledge. This interview was featured in the newspapers the next day.

The purpose of this post is not to share the fact that we were featured in the newspapers, but rather to share how God has used us as a family as we choose to move in faith.

The journey began from the Momentum Conference: Family.Foundation.Future, where the Holy Spirit downloaded an idea in Hubby. During the car ride home, Hubby shared his idea with me, and our discussion conceived Project Cactus Love - a D.I.Y activity to design a cactus pot to promote appreciation of family. Hubby then put together a proposal within a few hours to apply for Project Superglue funding (the closing date for application of funding was the day after the conference).

4 weeks later, Hubby received a call to inform of the successful application to have the project executed at the National Family Celebrations on 29 June 2013. However, the haze situation then had caused the outdoor celebrations to be cancelled. BUT! That didn't put Project Cactus Love to stop. With divine opportunity and timing, Hubby managed to carry out this project at TOUCH Young Arrows Run & Raisin' 2013. Funds were raised at this event to bless the low income families under the wings of TOUCH Young Arrows. You can view the photos of Project Cactus Love here.

So after everything ended, Hubby got invited to the appreciation lunch blah blah blah (as mentioned above) and we got featured in the newspapers.

We really want to thank God for the opportunity to make a statement to promote family in a time like this. The institution of marriage is being challenged. But we believe in the commitment to our marriage and to uphold the Family as the foundation of our lives.

mini staycation @ Goodwood Park Hotel

As our belated wedding anniversary and my advanced birthday celebrations, we had a 2D1N staycation at Goodwood Park Hotel. First time away from home overnight with little PJ. And first time that little PJ gets to sleep in an air-conditioned room (no, we don't have aircon currently).

We booked a deluxe room originally, but to our pleasant surprise, we got upgraded to a junior suite upon check-in! Reason was that Hubby indicated that it was our wedding anniversary and so GWP decided to upgrade it for us! YAYNESS~! A sweet start to our staycation! :)   

Our junior suite

THIS is the complimentary coffee!

The upgrade to a junior suite turned out to be a great blessing to us as we really needed the space for little PJ's cot, the stroller, our luggages and the space to watch TV and for midnight pumping without waking little PJ up.

For me, one of the highlights during a hotel stay is, the bed. I'm not joking, seriously. Due to space constraint and as a temporary measure, our current bed is very small small.It's somewhere between a single and queen size bed. That's how small it is. And hard. We term it the 'THB' - Tiny Hard Bed. So I always look forward to bigger, softer and more comfy beds in hotels. I had so much fun rolling in the king-size bed at GWP. 

Little PJ has a cot to sleep in too

After settling down, Hubby took over looking after little PJ, so that I can go for a pedicure session at the shopping mall next door. So sweet hor? Even though he was a little apprehensive, he still allowed me to take some time off to pamper myself. 

After my pedicure session, we walked around at ION Orchard for a while before settling down for 'anniversary dinner' at Watami. Little PJ was also cooperative enough to remain quiet for 30min so that we can have our dinner in peace.

Set dinner for 2 @ Watami

We got another pleasant surprise when we returned to our room and found a little cake in the living room. It's complimentary in celebration of our wedding anniversary. How thoughtful is that!

Hazelnut chocolate cake. Very yummy!

Another highlight of a hotel stay for me is, the breakfast. I love intercontinental breakfast buffet that allows me to have a bit of everything. 

A bit of western, a bit of oriental

Overall, we were very satisfied with the stay and the service by the hotel staff. For the price we paid, it was worth it. But more importantly, we spent some quality time together as a family. :)

Happy hearts. :)

what's in her name?

Girl-girl is called Pin Jie, which doesn't make much sense if you look only at the Hanyu Pinyin. Let's look at the Chinese characters 品洁。

品洁 means 品德圣洁。

品德 (pĭn dé)：character, moral values.
圣洁 (shèng jié)：pure, holy.

Some parents hope that their children will be very clever / filial / outstanding / healthy / ambitious etc, hence the words 聪 / 孝 / 杰 / 康 / 志 etc.
For Hubby and I, we want to see our children grow to be morally upright and knowing how to discern right from wrong. So after much deliberation, we decided on the name 品洁，in good faith and hope that little PJ will grow into a girl who loves God and one who has a pure character.

The 2 most common responses we get from this name are:
- Sounds like a boy's name
- No Christian name..?

Well, yes it may sound a little boyish, but the characters will suggest that it's a girl's name. And you're right, no Christian name because we feel that there is no need to. We want her to remember that she is a Chinese, as well as to appreciate the beauty of Chinese Language and the meaning of her name. :)

breaking the confinement rules

We, the Chinese, have a lot of beliefs and practices when it comes to weddings, pregnancy and postpartum etc. For example, the bride and groom are not supposed to meet 3 days before the wedding day, or misfortune will strike. But Hubby and I definitely did not observe this practice because we were scheduled to collect our marriage certificate the day before our wedding day.
Then, the pregnant lady is not supposed to use the scissors on the bed, or the child may end up with cleft lips or some sort of deformity. But for me, I believe that however the child turns out to be, it is by the grace and mercy of God.

For postpartum, we believe in a month-long confinement. There is a set of (many) rules to follow to ensure that the mother can recuperate and recover from the labour. So I, being a Chinese, had to observe confinement too after delivering little PJ. Yes, I do agree that I was weak after delivery, and I needed to recuperate. But there are just some rules that I cannot agree with. And so, yeah, I confess. I broke those rules.

Rule #1 - No going out
Staying at home for 30 days is not possible. Seriously. We needed to bring little PJ for her hospital reviews - a very legitimate reason to get out of the house. We also needed to replenish the diaper supplies, cotton balls and shop for pretty clothes for little PJ's baby shower. I can find a reason somehow.

Rule #2 - No bathing for at least a week
Well, in the past in China, clean water is not easily accessible to everyone. So to prevent infection caused by dirty water, they don't bathe. During winter, there is no need to bathe everyday as well. Hence this practice came about. HOWEVER, in the hot and humid Singapore today, with active sweat glands like mine, how can one not bathe? Even Mrs Wong Boh Boi says that we should bathe for hygiene's sake, as well as to prevent infection of the vagina. Moreover, I am breastfeeding exclusively. I don't want my little one to be suckling sweat and dirt instead of breastmilk. The confinement lady was shocked when she saw me walking out of the bathroom (I didn't tell her I was going to bathe. I just went ahead to bathe.) She said that I was not supposed to bathe for at least a week, and I shouldn't be bathing everyday. My reply to her was simply, “流这样多汗，不冲凉很恶心。又要喂奶。不可以，我一定要冲凉。” But I do try to keep the bathing short to prevent catching a cold.

Rule #3 - No washing of hair
Reason being, wind will enter the head and we will get headaches easily. On normal days, I cannot even stand not washing my hair for more than 24 hours, let alone during confinement, whereby I was perspiring like mad. So I washed my hair everyday. Needless to say, the confinement lady was again uncomfortable about this. But I didn't care, and I had my mum's support in this, so it wasn't too difficult to push through breaking this rule. But one thing I will do is, to dry my hair with the hair dryer as soon as I am out of the bathroom, so that I do not get a headache.

Rule #4 - No aircon or fans
To prevent wind from getting into the body. I don't have aircon at home, so that's not an issue. But I cannot CANNOT survive without the fan. In fact, I had the fan blowing at me every minute of the day because I was perspiring so sO SO MUCH (due to postpartum sweating).

Rule #5 - Cover Wrap yourself up with long sleeve shirts and long pants
The wind thing again. I did wear long pants for the first week just to keep mouths from commenting. But after a week, I started to develop itch and mild rashes on my legs, so I started to alternate between long pants and knee-length shorts to test water. No comments from anyone, so by the third week, I was wearing shorts everyday. By the end of the confinement, I was wearing shorts and sleeveless shirts.
During one of the hospital reviews for little PJ, I saw a lady who was also in her confinement month. She was wearing a jacket, long lounge pants, socks, covered shoes, a cap, and had a shawl wrapped round her head. And there I was, in my nursing tank, shorts and slippers.

Rule #6 - Drink red date tea, not water
Red date tea is supposed to get rid of water retention and wind (again). Not supposed to drink plain water because of wind (again). But I am a 水桶 (which means water bucket literally), I cannot survive without water. And to drink 2 litres of red date tea (we are supposed to drink at least 2 litres of fluids) everyday is absurd because it is so heaty. The confinement lady kept telling me to drink and finish the red date tea. My response was always to nod, then ignore. I filled my water bottle with water more often than my cup with the red date tea.

Rule #7 - No cold drinks
Cold drinks are not helpful for the recovery of the uterus. Ok this one I believe. Because when I first drank a cold drink after delivery, I experienced cramps. But there were a couple of times when I really wanted to taste some coffee very badly, so I got myself a decaf frappe. Secretly of course.

Rule #8 - Ginger, ginger and more ginger

It's supposed to get rid of wind. (This wind thing was driving me nuts, really) Every dish was cooked with ginger and sesame oil. Every meal, every day, for 28 days. So I put my chopstick skills into good use, by picking out every single visible ginger I could see. For every dish, every meal, every day, for 28 days.



You can say that I'm stubborn and I will regret when I'm old. Well, maybe. But as of then, I already had to battle with the challenges of being a new mum, so I would really love to have a few things less to battle with if I can. If I ever give birth to another child, and I have to go through confinement again, I will still be breaking these rules. Unless my body gives me warning signs that I should start observing these rules.

my breastfeeding journey thus far

I feel like I want to pen this down.

I started breastfeeding a few hours after PJ's birth, but mainly just for her to suckle. It would have been better if breastfeeding could start immediately after birth, but I was way too sleepy and tired from the labour to do it. So like what I had read and heard before on parenting websites and seminars, milk only came in on the 3rd day of her birth. Before that, it was colostrum, and purely suckling for milk stimulation. And since there was nothing to fill PJ's stomach, she often went back to the nursery crying. I appreciate the nurses at Thomson Medical for supplementing with glucose and not formula milk.

I think breastfeeding is a very interesting process. Which woman, before becoming a mother, would ever think or imagine milk flowing out from her boobs? It's indeed a wonderful gift from God.

But having said that, my breastfeeding journey is not all smooth-sailing either. The challenges that I've read about - poor latching, engorgement, blocked ducts, sore nipples - came true during these 6 weeks.

The first few days after discharging from the hospital were challenging. Little PJ cried very often. Shortly after each feeding, she would be crying and wanting to be fed again. I was tired physically and emotionally for having to meet the needs of this little creature. What didn't help was my mum repeatedly asking 她是不是吃不饱？你是不是不会喂？
Honestly, I felt like answering her 不要一直问了。我也不知道。That few days, I would cry when little PJ cried. But I thank God that the hubby (my knight in shining armour) was on leave that week and could console and encourage me.

Next was little PJ's need to be fed every 1.5-2 hours. The "every 2-3 hours" that the websites stated did not apply to me apparently. Little PJ takes 30-45min for each feeding, and then would start making noise 30-45min after that. So I was (and still am, by the way) practically always in the room feeding her. I felt like a cow, a milking machine.

Then came the woes of engorgement and blocked ducts. Blessed is her who never suffers from engorgement and blocked ducts. Too bad, I am not that blessed one. Have had engorgement and blocked ducts countless times. Engorgement can be easily relieved by expressing the milk, but blocked ducts is a whole big headache to me. Whenever the milk ducts are blocked, it is a whole day of latching, pumping, latching, pumping, latching and pumping, together with desperately praying to God that the ducts get cleared. And not to mention the pain that I have to endure. Whenever I have blocked ducts, my mood is damn bad and I will be damn emo, I tell you.

And oh yes, how can I forget the middle-of-the-night pumping sessions? I suppose no breastfeeding mums can ever sleep through the night without a pumping session. Even if you can, the discomfort from engorgement will not allow you to. I only do 2 pumping sessions per night and I am dead tired. Kudos to the mummies who religiously pump every 3 hours. 2 pumping sessions and 2 feedings, so that's like waking up 4 times per night. No wonder everyone comments on my dark circles.

Now, little PJ seems to be rejecting my left breast. She either cries and pushes me away when I latch her on my left, or she will simply fall asleep. But when latching on to my right, she's all calm and quiet suckling away. I pray that the day of exclusive pumping and feeding of EBM will not come. It's a nightmare logistically, I feel.

So, you may ask, with all these challenges, have you thought of stopping breastfeeding and starting on formula milk?
Well, yes and no, I would say.
Yes, so that I no longer need to wake up in the middle of the night to pump, so that there is a slight chance of little PJ sleeping longer or even sleeping through the night, so that I do not need to suffer from blocked ducts again, and so that I do not need to be hiding in the room to nurse her the whole day, and I can have more free time to do my own stuff.
But no, because I know that breastmilk is way way way better for little PJ's immune system and bursting with wholesome goodness than formula milk. Everyday, I psycho myself to persevere in this journey.

Till now, little PJ is on total breastfeeding. I am not sure how long I can sustain this. I am not even sure if I can still produce sufficient breastmilk for her when I return to work. But I will insist for total breastfeeding for at least another month. I will start on formula milk before I return to work. But for now, let's just try to work things out bit by bit. :)

Lastly, just to share a photo with everyone. The one who makes this journey worth it. :)

Love her milk coma look!